wet birds don't fly at night |

I am Caryn Dossantos. I am recently divorced from Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office Deputy Marcel Dossantos, an unrepentant SERIAL domestic abuser. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office does not care.
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darkness, darkness

Monday Jan 25, 2010

I am progressively getting more and more depressed. It is as if I stop for a second doing something I just sit dazed and frozen, and my mind is constantly digging in its heels to stop and throw me of course of whatever project I am doing at the moment. It is so hard to snap out of it. Intellectually I know that I could not live as we were before; it was intolerable. But in the absence I have created this idealized version of my husband with all his wonderful points and none of the horrid ones, and I just don’t want to be alone—but I realize also that this person doesn’t exist right now. He’s still “in there” but not for me. We couldn’t keep on going as we were, and I don’t want to keep on going alone.

Darkness, darkness, be my pillow
Take my hand and let me sleep
In the coolness of your shadow
In the silence of your deep

Darkness darkness, hide my yearning
For the things that cannot be
Keep my mind from constant turning
Towards the things I cannot see now
Towards the things I cannot see now
The things I cannot see now

Darkness darkness, long and lonesome
Is the day that brings me here
I have found the edge of sadness
I have known the depths of fear

Darkness darkness, be my blanket
Cover me with the endless night
Take away away the pain of knowing
Fill the emptiness of right now
The emptiness of right now
Fill the emptiness of right now

Darkness darkness, be my pillow
Take my hand and let me sleep
In the coolness of your shadow
In the silence of your deep

Darkness, darkness, be my blanket
Cover me with the endlesss night
Take away away the pain of knowing
Fill the emptiness of right now
In the emptiness of right now
In the emptiness of right now

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