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Posted by wet bird | Under Uncategorized Wednesday Jan 20, 2010I think I went back to work too early. My eye flared up again. In hindsight, I should have taken a half-day. I have this goofy sleep mask (maybe I will post a picture later) that I have been wearing around the house that blocks out 100% of the light to give my eye a rest. The bedroom needs black-out curtains, I might venture out when it is dark to BB&B to see if there is an inexpensive pair. Most of the ones I have seen are $100, and I can’t afford that, but light just streams into the bedroom so that I have to sleep on the couch to avoid irritating my eyes when I am not wearing the sleep mask (and it tends to come off if I am restless in my sleep). The couch is fine for a nap; not so much for an good full night’s sleep for days at a time.
So, I will be back in tomorrow, but if I start feeling strained, I will work only a half-day. Or perhaps it is just one of those things that it will flare up again on Friday, I dunno. I am sure the weekend off will give it much needed rest, and next week should be normal.
Hope everything’s okay and that your eye has improved…
Yes it has, thank you for thinking of me. It is now only slightly red and sore if I think about it. If I don’t think about it, I don’t notice it. I wish I could say the same for my emotional state which has been doing crazy up and downs which is not typical for me as I am not bi-polar, rather just susceptible to good ole depression. I think it is stress that is doing it. My car is about to break again, and I just want to break down crying even thinking about it. I got a hearing date for Court which is a good thing, but believe it or not, I do not like confrontation. Most people find that odd since I can be very confrontational (not just online, I am no different online than I am offline). I taught myself as a teenager to stand up for myself and what I believe in, so I have learned to control my fear and dislike of confrontation, but it is still there. When I opened the letter from the Court with the Notice of Hearing, I immediately starting shaking and beginning to hyperventilate just at the thought. There have been times I have done some verbal debates where people commented (it wasn’t in person so they couldn’t see me) that it sounded like I was about to cry. I was. I used to think I was a big chicken for being scared. Then I learned that courage is being scared but doing it anyway. It doesn’t take any courage to do something that doesn’t frighten you. For instance, it takes no courage for me to make a youtube video doing the chicken dance. I have absolutely no fear of being goofy or an entertainer.
Boy, I get off track don’t I? This time has been a period of great self examination for me. I think I understand now what they mean when they say that youth is wasted on the young.
“Then I learned that courage is being scared but doing it anyway. It doesn’t take any courage to do something that doesn’t frighten you.” Exactly right.
I’m glad that you’re seeing the silver lining in the cloud, so to speak, when you say you’re examining yourself and learning much during this time. One of my best friends posted the text of James 1:2-12 on Facebook this morning, and I think it has special application to the situation in which you find yourself now:
“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing…Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.”
I know it doesn’t always make trials easier, but remember that standing firmly rooted in Christ during times like these results in a stronger faith and greater endurance.